Its been a long time since I have penned down anything here. Life is going on its own pace- some pebbles here and there. Frustration continues as far as research is concerned and again I am at the threshold of another deadline without much progress! :P
Nevertheless, suddenly situations are a bit different. How does one feel when all of a sudden one comes and tries to awaken the heartbeats of yours which are in slumber for a long time. Especially when, you have accepted and have reasoned your heart beats not to create chaos while maintaining' friendship' with that particular 'someone.' How does it feel when you are given an option of possessing that same person, knowing it already that this person will never be able to love you the way you want him to be. It is better at least to see him happy with somebody else while having a genuine friendship with me and not faking relationship instead. Many are quite happy at the sudden turn of events but I am faced with this question-- is this what I wanted? The answer is a clear cut 'NO'. But still you find it hard to convince yourself and all the more, you find yourself at loss of words in convincing others.
I just want to run away from here. Taking everything with me. The smell, the colours, the emotions, the feelings, the tears, the laughters, the tensions, everything of which represents him to me ---I will take with me and preserve them as I am sure one day or the other he himself will destroy everything he stands for. Before it happens I need to preserve a little of him with me.
I can live with the love I have for him. But not with the 'love' he has for me.