Mundane..

“Hearts have been exchanged, thousands deaths have been died, accompanied many as anklets in their feet/Went from door to door cajoling people, only giving and receiving sorrows in the process/Only tears were there to form garlands as decoration for my blood-scorn heart.”

(Excerpts from one of Tagore's poems)

Sometimes in life, you need to let go of many things that you have held dear. However, although we need to do it at times, it seems to be the most difficult thing to do. As I had already mentioned previously, such difficulty is usually posed due to the attachments we share with everything around us, without which we feel incomplete and feel anxious of what would happen next. In fact, it is again the fear of unknown that actually drives us to be obsessed with these things, because we tend to get comfortable with whatever is there. But the funny part of it is this, that life is/was never static. The same ‘status-quo’ which we really want to maintain, was never static. The situation from which we now derive comfort, probably was not comfortable in the beginning. But we tend to forget that. We adjust, we ‘move-on’, but still not ready to accept this oft-quoted phrase, ‘change is the only constant thing in this world.’ Sometimes, it’s the monotony of our fast life,that prevents us from realizing the picture that lay beyond such petty nitty-gritty of everyday life. I did read somewhere that in order to live at times, you need to die a little inside. In the long run, I am sure, it’s going to yield positive results. Just we need to keep our spine straight and be brave in letting go of those elements from your life which has ceased to be important in your life, clinging on to which can only increase your pain and nothing else.

Today I would enclose one sketch drawn by me not long ago, in a strange mind setup. Although, I attempted to make a sketch of Tagore, it is far from being ideal :D

Just-Like-That

Life is about challenges, we all know. Life is also about  choices. In most of the cases its often seen that whatever challenges we meet in our lives are dependent on the type of choices we make. Yesterday(6/3/13) was an 'unusually' ordinary day. Ordinary in the sense, there was no extra ordinariness in it viz. following the daily schedule of running around, attending classes and searching for materials for my seminar paper from here and there. But two incidents made it unusual. The first one was about a choice. A choice that was long impending. A' choice' (read 'decision') of ending a relation that was only causing 'hurt'-aches for quite a long time. Probably, I could have prevented that. Probably I could have argued, could have pleaded, could have talked more, could have waited for some more time,(just like I have did time and again). But I didn't. I made a choice of accepting the verdict. Because somewhere down the line I was relieved. I was relieved of the tension I was subjected to for days I have lost count of. At the same time I know from my heart that this feeling of numbing pain for losing someone who was so close to you is temporary. In the long run, it would save both of us from the guilt of hurting each other and ruining the friendship we both held dear. Its better to move away when it was getting dirtier each passing day. I was prepared to face the challenge then :)

The second incident that made my day quite 'unusual' was not related to any choice and challenge.

Its about a discovery. In my quest of searching primary materials for one of my seminar papers I landed in the central secretariat library at New Delhi. Suddenly, while going through my much-sought Commission Report of 1990, I looked up at the racks that were surrounding me. I could see numerous files and reports of different years, some on urbanization, some on slum clearance, some on rehabilitation and housing programs from 1950s onwards etc. I know it sounds very boring! But what seemed remarkable to me is that interestingly, I had heard of these reports and the debates on them from newspapers and footnotes of history textbooks. But for the first time I was using these  documents on my own! The red binding, the yellowish pages and the typed minutes of the Commission Reports gave me a different feeling , which was completely alien to me. No doubt  I was exhilarated.

Hoping for a productive day with this Bob Dylan song

Warmly, :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrQ4saKGI5k

Loving attachment or Attaching Love (in whatever way you want to read)

"'Ruddho dwarer bahire dnaraye aami

Ar kotokal amone katibe swami

Priyotomo he, jaago jaago jaago!"

(O Lord! O Beloved!  Arise!How long should I wait before the closed door before it embraces me inside?)

This excerpt from the Tagore song perfectly describes the state of mind i am now into. Its about all of us, our quest of life, our quest for love, our quest for happiness, our quest for anything that is positive. Does anybody of us actually search or want negativity? Perhaps not. The inherent nature in us would not allow it. SO, everybody of us, in some form or the other is in front of something that is unknown to us or beyond one's comprehension-- as if in front of a closed door. The more we strive forward and open one door, another door comes up in front of us. The entire life is about this only, isn't it?

Actually the quest for happiness comes from our desire of avoiding unhappiness. From  where does such unhappiness come? From the fear of us getting hurt; physically, mentally, economically, materially and the list goes on. It was not long back, when I had read a certain column in the segment of 'The Speaking Tree'( which is a regular feature of the TOI) where a distinction had been made between love and attachment. It argued that while love is an unconditional feeling bereft of any sort of negativity within it, it is the attachment to that thing/person whom we love that causes our unhappiness; because attachment leads the person to possess that object of love(no intention of objectification plz! :) ) lest it ceases to love him/her back. Thus, condition is unconsciously imposed on the unconditional nature of love. As a result, in most of the cases its seen that people are crying not for losing their love( as it remains permanently with a person throughout one's life) but for the attachment they held for the object.

I found the argument to be quite apt for me. Not sure whether it holds good for others as well.

Have a good day ahead :)

Umm..now that's a start..

Ok. Don't want to give a lofty introduction or welcome note at all. It is also not that I was dying to  create this blog. Instead I am not at all that type of person who is into writing and all. In fact, I believed in talking my feelings out than writing them down. But recently I realized, that its better to pen them down as that is what is making me feel better(these days) without having the hassle of several subjective interpretations and advices of people around me. No doubt, I had my own diary to take my tantrums. But, only today, for the first time I felt that since i love typing, its better to put my feelings-doubts-questions on this blog and share it with people who would be complete strangers to me, ; in the process might lead me to some answers which I have not received till now, form my known circle of friends and wellwishers. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Warmly, :)